Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
