She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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