video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
