He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have fence marks all over my body
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize