Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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