i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
