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his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
it was like having sex with a tree stump
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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