I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
