I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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