Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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