he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
