It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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