The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
