It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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