I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
