I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
