I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize