I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
