Duck Duck Cougar?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
