I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
