Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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