I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
