im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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