You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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