If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
