i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
