Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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