I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
