I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize