I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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