I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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