Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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