how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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