not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize