that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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