I heard we made out
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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