well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
