I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
