You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
