And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
