we have officially lost it.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
