no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize