Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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