why didn't you poke me back
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
