Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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