I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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