perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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