How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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