Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
