this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
