i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
