im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
