make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Mom said you looked used
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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