Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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