Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
