don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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