Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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