Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize